"Our CEO cancelled his visit. He's sending his top aid, Zimbue the Monkey, in his place." "Isn't that typical? I spent a week exaggerating my accomplishments for this. Now he sends a stupid monkey!" "What could be more humiliating than trying to suck-up to a monkey?" "Failing at it?"
…mistake, evolution-wise, was inventing computers that are easier to use if you have a tail." "It's an ironic twist in the Darwinian saga. You've guaranteed the extinction of your own species." "Stop working while I'm talking to you, Zimbu!!" "I can hear the evolutionary clock...tick-tick-tick-tick."
"Zimbu, you're not supposed to use your tail to operate the mouse." "If tails were a natural advantage for engineers then evolution would provide us ALL with tails!" "Dilbert, I don't believe you've met Rocky, our new C programmer."
"Well, well, it looks like Zimbu has designed another commercially viable product using only his tail." "I could have done that...if I hadn't erased my hard drive when I installed my security software." "I don't produce much, but it's VERY secure." "Here's another one."
"Zimbu the monkey designed three commercial products this week! We'd better find out his secret." "He's using his tail! He has a natural advantage!" "I feel the jaws of evolution on my throat." "Good gravy! Did you see him cut and paste?!"
The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "After comparing the two of you, I've decided to keep Dilbert for the last engineering job." Dilbert yells, "Yes! I win, you little banana-eating-flea-hotel! Ha ha ha ha!!!" The Boss says, "I'm putting Zimbu on the management fast-track." Dilbert thinks…