…CEO says, "I want to know I can count on every one of you!" CEO says, "What's wrong with these people?" Boss says, "Well? I fired that guy this morning. His last day is tomorrow." Boss says, "That one retires at the end of the month. Those three are contractors. I didn't renew their contracts. The rest…
Dilbert says, "I need this class to update my skills. Will you approve the expense?" The Boss says, "Where's the analysis of alternatives?" Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "When you ask for funding, you need to tell me what my options are." Dilbert says, "Well, okay. That seems logical." Dilbert…
…Boss says, "By the way, company policy forbids the use of Facebook and Twitter at work. And we don't trust you to work from home." The Boss says, "If you blog about how lame we are, you're fired!!!" Beth thinks, "First day, not so good."
…focus group?" Catbert says, "In our case, it's like mob of angry villagers armed with sharp pens." Catbert says, "And you'd also be the fire marshal for the floor. Areyou in?" Monster says, "Yeah. It's a tough job market."
The Boss says, "Carol, you filled out Ted's termination documents wrong. You put my name in the box as the fired employee." The Boss says, "My security access has been revoked. My phone is shut off, and my passwords are deactivated." The Boss says, "You need to fix this." Carol says, "Security, I found…
…did you suddenly stop talking?" Dilbert says, "Oh no...this can't be good." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!! Now you're not making eye contact with me!" Dilbert says, "Layoffs are coming! I must be on the list!" Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is to injure myself and go on disability so he can't legally fire me…
