Wally says, "Who's the idiot that put a mirror in the lobby? That's bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I keep trying to work, but all of our workplace energy is getting reflected right back out to the sidewalk." Wally says, "And the way your desk is angled is totally flipping me the chi bird!"
Catbert says, "Do you want to lay off the highly skilled, whiny jerk who is toxic to the workplace or..." Catbert says, "...The pleasant but incompetent guy who will lead us to ruination?" Catbert says, "This got harder after we fired all of the unskilled, whiny jerks." The boss says, "Which one is uglier?…
Dogbert's Rumor Control Ted says, "I need to squash a workplace rumor that I'm an idiot." Dogbert says, "I charge $10 for each false rumor and $1,000 for any rumor I decide is true." Ted says, "Sounds fair." Dogbert says, "Really? That just cost you $1,000."
"Why does it seem as if most of the decisions in my workplace are made by drunken lemurs?" "Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent." "Why are talented people so busy?" "They're fixing the problems made by people who have time."
"You can't have a side job of drawing a comic strip about the workplace." "I should fire you for mocking the management of this company in newspapers." "Because then I'd mock you less?"
…I will sue you for violating labor laws." "Furthermore, he is part endangered butterfly, on his mother's side." "As we speak, he's looking for a workplace hazard to roll around in."
