Wally says, "I need to get some of that work-life balance I keep hearing about." Wally says, "I thought about work all last night at home, so what do I do now?" Wally says, "It's not too late to get in on this."
Dogbert's Seminar on Work-Life Balance "This is Allen. He didn't balance his work and personal lives." "Allen did nothing but work,work,work. And now look at him." "I'm the one who tried to balance everything. That's Allen. He's a @#!$% CEO now!"
"Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on work-life balance." "First, review this list of your priorities." Family Job Exercise Vacation Must-Dos Medical Eating Hygiene Sleep Romance Holidays "You have time for three things. Work and holidays are two. You get to pick the third."
"No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."
"I'm having trouble balancing my worklife and my personal life. How do you do it?" "I use job anger to destabilize my hormonal balance and crush any competing urges." "That reminds me I need to punch something today or I'll want to have kids."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."