…says, "We find in favor of the plaintiff dude." The man says, "There was some discussion about which one is the plaintiff - the complainy guy or the weasel." "The man says, "But we were unanimous in not wanting to be here any longer." Another man says, "Aye!"
…Media Trainer Dogbert says, "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure." Dogbert says, "Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" A weasel says, "What gave it away?" Dogbert says, "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."
Rent a Weasel. "I need three bitter and unsuccessful scientists and a hundred lazy journalists." "Very good." "Did you know toddlers thrive on pollution?"
Dogbert Consults "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does." "You're making me hungry!"
"The new guy is a huge weasel. Don't believe anything he says." "You say that about all the new hires so they won't seem credible when they complain about you." "I'll stop doing it when it stops working."
…industrial waste in the recommended food pyramid." "For another million I'll have Congress authorize huge tax breaks for soulless, Blackberry-using weasels with coffee breath." "I just want to hug you!" "That's another million."
