Coworker says, "Your idea has already been tried by others and it failed miserably." Dilbert says, "Were those other as skilled at implementing ideas as you are at evaluating them?" Coworker says, "Of course they were!" Dilbert says, "Can you tell him to stop insulting himself?"
The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to help us evolve our products to cloud computing." Dogbert says, "Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud." The Boss says, "It's as if you're a technologist and a philosopher all in one!" Dogbert says, "blah blah platform."
Wally says, "There were eleven ways to interpret the vague assignment you gave me by voicemail." Wally says, "Given the risks of choosing wrong, and my engineering oath to do no harm, it was my ethical duty to do nothing." The Boss says, "You could have asked for clarification." Wally says, "Sounds risky…
Alice says, "Excuse me. By my count, you've said the same thing 27 times, using different words." Alice says, "If I can get sworn statements from everyone here that we understand your point, will you stop talking?" Man says, "That's mighty rude of you." Alice says, "I don't' get your point. Can you…
Woman says, "Wally, can you attend my meeting Friday?" Wally says, "I'm very busy, but I'll meet you halfway." Woman says, "What does that mean in this context?" Wally says, "They say half of life is just showing up." Woman says, "So? you will be..." Wally says, "Doing the other half."
…project." Dilbert says, "You forgot to get our buy- in before you empowered us." The Boss says, "I'll get your buy-in later." Wally says, "It's far too late for that." Wally says, "I'm going to use my empowerment to destroy this poorly conceived project from the inside!" The Boss says, "Don't do that…
