…"Let's call one of the ten stakeholders and I'll show you." Beep beep This is Ed Bigston's voicemail. I'm not available...ever. I am either on vacation, or sick, or traveling, or in a meeting. I do not check e-mail or return phone calls. Like the horizon, I am more of a concept than a corporeal being.…
"My voice mailbox is full, and my spam filter rejects all incoming e-mail." "As soon as I build up a good load of ear wax, I'll be off the grid." "Wally, we need to talk." "EH?"
"The status of my project is that you ignored five of my e-mails and seven of my voicemails." "I tried to corner you in the hallway, but you filled all the air space with stories about your sinuses and scampered away." "Speaking of which, hoo boy." "I'd like to hear those stories."
…before, but may I have your phone number?" "Home phone.. cell phone.. work phone.. home e-mail.... personal web site." "...And if that fax machine is out of paper, try the one down the hall, but leave me a voicemail if you do."
…"What?" "I told Alice to ask you!" "She must have forgotten." "I sent you three e-mail messages." "You know I don't have time to read my e-mail." "And I sent you a voicemail." "You know I don't have time for voice-mails." "That's why I also.." "Tatooed it on your stinkin' chest!!!" "As if I have time…
Dilbert says to The Boss, "You don't respond to my e-mail anymore." The Boss replies, "When I reply to e-mail, it attracts more e-mail. I'm trying to break the vicious cycle." Dilbert says, "Well.. I'll leave you voice-mails." The Boss answers, "Let me know how that works out for you."
