The Boss says, "Carol, I want you to feel more emotionally invested in the vision and mission of the company." Carol says, "My only emotion is anger. You can have as much of it as you want." The boss says, "Maybe I can inspire you with my leadership." Carol says, "I feel like I'm wearing concrete…
The boss says, "I gave the same assignment to all the employees who look like you." The boss says, "A blind squirrel is more likely to find a nut if there are a lot of blind squirrels." the boss says, "That sounded cruel allow me to rephrase it." the boss says, "I meant vision-impaired squirrels."
"I had a productive time at the management retreat." "We golfed as hard as we could until we came up with a new vision for the company!!!" "But no one wrote it down, so we're going to try again next month."
"I finished all of my projects in one day." "I also reconfigured the network, wrote seven white papers and applied for nine patents." "Are you naked or am I developing X-ray vision?" "Give a thought to decaf."
"My PowerPoint presentation is a vision of beauty and persuasion." "It will make engineers weep, and profits will rain down from the sky." "Jeepers. What kind of limping scrod is that?" "The good kind!"
"We're off to see the Wizard of Landfill. He'll give you some ambition and he'll show me how to get home." "Can we go too? I need experience...And he needs a brain, heart, soul, and a strategic vision." "No I don't. You're fired!" "And a job...I need a job."