The Boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to help with quality testing on Version 2." Dilbert says, "I'm an engineer, not a quality tester.' Dilbert says, "If I do quality testing, even temporarily, it will make me appear grossly overpaid." Dilbert says, "That impression could work against me during my next…
Alice says, "You know that antimatter version of yourself that you brought to work?" Alice says, "I killed him with a cup of coffee. I think he enjoyed it. Because he's, like, opposite." Alice says, "But enough about me. How's your day going?"
"If I buy this, how can I be sure you won't come out with a newer version next week?" "I give you my word as a job-hopping commission junky with a gambling problem." "And even if we did have a newer version, it sure wouldn't fix any of the problems that this one has."
…"Clone yourself, put the clone up for adoption, and hope intelligence can be influenced by the environment." "Evidently your parents slapped together Version 1.0 of you and hoped no one would notice the bugs..."
"The beta version looks great. Now ask if they'll toss in an archive option for no extra money." "That's a great idea. Or...maybe I could save time by the realizing that they aren't raging morons who enjoy working for free." "It's all in the way you ask." "I'll try yelling."
"I couldn't buy the software I need to do my job because of your freeze on expenses." "And our I.S. policy says I can't use the freeware version that is readily available." "So I used the week to develop some new coffee-sipping noises."
