"Wally, I bought Dogbert's Management Software to yell at you so I don't have to." "I recommend Track 3, titled 'You're my least valuable asset'." "Who wants to buy Dogbert's noise cancellation headphones for bad employees?" "I need you less than my mousepad."
Roboboss says to Alice, "I am Roboboss. You are a valuableasset. Keep up the good work." Alice replies, "That is the most shallow compliment I have ever heard. But it still made me feel good." Alice continues, "So.. Are you seeing anyone?" Roboboss replies, "High five!"
…across from Dilbert and Alice and flanked by the boss and Wally. Dogbert says, "What is your most valuable asset?" Wally says, "Employees?" The boss stifles a laugh "Hee" Dogbert says, "Your most valuableasset is rampant ignorance." Dogbert continues, "For example, you would never start a project if you…
…Wally, and Alice sit in the front row. The Boss continues, "Employees are our most valuableasset." He says, "And like most assets, you decline in value over time." He says, "I know what you're thinking: Not all assets decline in value." He says, "For example, fine art is worth more every year." The Boss…
…screams, "We're human beings, not 'resources!!'" The Boss looks stunned as he replies, "Would it help if I told you that resources are our most valuable asset?"
…sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've been saying for years that 'employees are our most valuableasset.'" The Boss continues, "It turns out that I was wrong. Money is our most valuableasset. Employees are ninth." Wally says, "I'm afraid to ask what came in eighth." The Boss replies, "Carbon…
