The boss says, "I hired my unemployed golf buddy to consult." Dilbert says, "What are his qualifications?" The boss says, "He has two qualifications: He's unemployed and he's a golf buddy." Man says, "I recommend firing the whistleblower and playing nine before it gets dark."
Dogbert says, "What's the worst part about you being unemployed?" Dogbert says, "Is it the risk of starvation, the inability to date, or the feeling of being utterly worthless?" Dilbert says, "So far the worst part is this conversation." Dogbert says, "Wait 'til you hear my tough love speech."
Dilbert says, "I can't afford to pay the mortgage this month." Dogbert says, "There's no reason to worry." Dogbert says, "I doubt your bank can afford postage to send you an eviction notice." Dilbert says, "That didn't make me worry less." Dogbert says, "How are we set for firearms?"
Dilbert says, "I'm not stressed about being out of work because I have my investments. Let's see how they..." GAAAA!!! Dogbert says, "Maybe some warlords are hiring."
"Wally, I have to fire you for posting a comic comparing managers to drunken lemurs." "You won't be eligible for unemployment benefits unless you can prove you were stupid as opposed to malicious." "Can you prove you're stupid?" "Is there another explanation for working here?"
Dogbert, career counselor "You have no marketable talent." "You're totally unemployable and that's not going to change." "The important thing is to keep a positive attitude."
