…productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our timereporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."
"Wally, did you finish the traffic estimates?" "I didn't have time." "I spent all week shopping on the company's online supply ordering site." "Hey, you can't blame the guy who just uses the attractive nuisance."
"Remember to charge your time to the appropriate project code." "Unless your project is unfunded, in which case the time codes won't work and you'll need to falsify your timereport." "Are any of our projects funded?" "This is the embarrassing part."
"A business magazine is sending a reporter to interview me." "You?" "They want to learn my best management practices." "That's a little like milking a squirrel because you need butter." "I don't know what that meant, but I like the way it sounded." "Describe your typical day." "Well, let me tell you…
…perfect employee. She can do two things at the same time!" "Human resources surgically separated the two sides of her brain so she can multitask." Two days later "I'm sorry to report that Amber drowned while trying to talk and drink water at the same time." "Human resources would like to see you after this…
"I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom." "Fill out your timereport in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing." "Attempted self-strangulation is Code 39. If you succeed, it's 40." "RRRRR!!!"
