Dilbert says, "I multitask during conference calls." Dilbert says, "Is it wrong to value my own productivity over the inane babbling of others?" Therapist thinks, "Buy bread...Pickles...Light bulbs..." Dilbert says, "Hello?"
…hypothesis is true and my reality is entirely imagined." Dilbert says, "But if I'm imagining my life, why don't I imagine better things happening to me?" Therapist thinks, "I'll probably regret this practical joke." Mmmm
Certified Massage Therapist "Fill out this lengthy medical questionnaire." "That'll save me a few minutes of touching him." "I wonder if he'd know if I only used one hand." "Actually, how would he even know if it's a hand?" "Maybe I have an object here that feels like a hand." "This ballpoint pen will…
"I have uncontrollable urges to show people better ways to do things." "Do you think the real issue might be my insecurity?" "Well, I wouldn't date you, but that's mostly because of your looks." "Not helping."
"I think my employees are trying to kill me. Am I paranoid?" "Put your answer in an e-mail. I don't want to be paying for the pauses between your words." "I've ruled out paranoia." "Phew! that's a relief."
