…The boss says, "Keeping your job should be all the incentive you need." Dilbert says, "Then why does anyone need a teamwork award?" Wally says, "Let's just slap something together and randomly nominate people." Asok says, "I got a teamwork award and yet I feel no different." Dilbert says, "Yup."
"I don't know you. Why are you in this meeting?" "I'm creating the illusion of work by conflating the concepts of attendance and productivity." "You should leave." "And who should I say hates teamwork?"
…"Remember when I came to your cubicle to ask for some data I need for my project?" "You said you were too busy, and shooed me away." "If I had insisted on doing my job, you would have had less time to do yours." "It's called teamwork." "Are we still big on that?" "Must control...First...Of...Death."
"I heard that you started a comic strip on the side." "You're in my seat, fly bait. Move or I'll pound your head so hard you'll have to remove your pants to read." "Did I miss anything about teamwork?" "Where do you get your ideas?"