…that project." Dilbert says, "I am? Since when?" The Boss says, "I told everyone on the team two months ago." Dilbert says, "I'm not on the team. You never told me." The Boss says, "Whatever, go tell the team you've been in charge for the past two months and see what they've accomplished." The Boss…
Pronounced Hay-soos. "The new teamleader, Jesus, is gaining quite a following." "He fixed my eyesight and made my hair regrow. I think he wants your job as CEO." "For forty shares of stock, I could point him out at lunch." "I'll punch his pilot light out!"
"Wally, this is your new teamleader. He spells his name like Jesus but it's pronounced Hay-Soos." "If you do what Jesus would do, you can enjoy your retirement." "I have a coffee stain that looks just like you." "I get that a lot."
The Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to meet the newest member of my management team." The Boss continues, "Keith is highly qualified, he has a masters in business administration." Alice and Keith shake hands. Alice says, "Very impressive. They must have taught you a lot about motivating employees."…
Dilbert sits at his desk clenching his fist. He thinks, "I hate being teamleader. It's so stressful." Dilbert continues thinking, "I have responsibility but no authority. I feel like I'm an animal in some warped behavioral study." He hears a "Ding" coming from behind him. Dilbert turns his chair around…
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss who is seated at his desk. Dilbert asks, "As teamleader, I think I should get some perks so people know my status." The Boss replies, "I'll have your cubicle walls sprayed with a special thickening agent. It might look the same, but trust me, people will know how…
