…performance review." Dilbert says, "A one percent difference in pay, compounded over the rest of my life, is big money." Dilbert says, "Obviously my best strategy here is to offer resistance that's just short of insubordination." Dilbert says, "So move on, little man! Scat! Go!" Dilbert says, "Too much?"
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We'll execute our strategy in the usual way." Dogbert says, "The powerful will delegate to the untalented until failure is achieved." The boss says, "How long will that take?" Dogbert says, "We just finished."
The boss says, "your PowerPoint slides impressed the executives so much that they're changing our entire strategy." Dilbert says, "Those slides were nothing but a bunch of garbage dressed up to look good." The boss says, "And that's what our new product line will be!" Dilbert says, "Oh."
…course I do. It's something about leveraging our platforms." "Does your plan leverage our platforms?" "No, but I can rewrite my plan so it seems as if it does." "Good. Go back and do that." "There's no point in having a strategy if you aren't going to pretend to follow it."
"Carol, schedule a staff meeting." "What's the topic?" "I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives." "I'll just say 'Waste of time'."
"Did you fund the infrastructure project yet?" "Nope." "I'm playing budget chicken with the director of operations." "I'm hoping that his department needs the infrastructure more than we do." "If I can bluff him into funding the project with his budget instead of mine, I win." "He'll be reprimanded…
