…coordinate with the brand manager and the category manager." The Boss says, "And also the clients, the account execs, the project leaders, strategicplanning, facilities management, product managers, marketing, and I.T." Dilbert says, "All I heard was 'give up.'" The Boss says, "Let's meet again in…
"Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot." "While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work.'" "On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you." "Whatever you're doing stop it."
…discuss the company politics that form a career minefield around your project." "And I can't tell you the company's new strategic direction, or anything about our upcoming reorg." "My plan is to criticize you until something good happens."
…keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategicplanning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."
Dilbert stands in the boss' office. Dilbert says, "I found some numbers that support your strategicplan." Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "I had to take the square root of a negative number to do it." Dilbert says, "The timeline is on the mobius strip." The boss says, "Good work."
Dilbert and the boss sit at a table with a piece of paper. The boss says, "If your numbers are correct, my strategicplan is irrational." The boss eyes bug out and his head goes "spoink" Caption: "Cognitive dissonance takes over." the boss says, "You sure are bad with numbers." Dilbert says, "What was…
