…sure you coordinate with the brand manager and the category manager." The Boss says, "And also the clients, the account execs, the project leaders, strategic planning, facilities management, product managers, marketing, and I.T." Dilbert says, "All I heard was 'give up.'" The Boss says, "Let's meet again…
Strategy Meeting Man says, "The weak economy is limiting our strategic options." Man says, "I won't sugarcoat anything." Man says, "Option one is a long slide to oblivion." Oblivion Man says, "Option two is a death spiral." Man says, "Our new company logo is a man getting sucked into a toilet." Man says…
The Boss says, "We could only find one company in the galaxy willing to form a strategic alliance with us." The Boss says, "Admiral B'Tang-B'tang is here to describe how we can help each other." foop! The Boss says, "Stop saying 'foop', Ted."
The Boss says, "The company has decided to explore strategic alternatives." Dilbert says, "Is that another way to say the company is for sale and we'll all be fired by our new corporate overlords?" The Boss says, "What answer will spark the least employee vandalism?"
"Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot." "While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work.'" "On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you." "Whatever you're doing stop it."
"I'm not allowed to discuss the company politics that form a career minefield around your project." "And I can't tell you the company's new strategic direction, or anything about our upcoming reorg." "My plan is to criticize you until something good happens."
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