The Boss says, "As lead software engineer, I give you the first unit of our ten thousand copy production run." Dilbert says, "Wow! I wish we'd designed it with the features listed on the box. That would have been awesome." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "I'll put this with the other reminders of…
…customers more involved in the product design cycle." Dilbert says, "We only have customers who are too dumb to check product reviews online." The Boss says, "Do it anyway." Customer says, "Can it wear a hat like a monkey?" Dilbert says, "For the millionth time, software can't wear clothes."
…software development, the item being cut, metaphorically speaking, is often plentiful and inexpensive." "In many cases, the cost of measuring incorrectly is low compared to the time wasted doing two measurements before every action." "You philosophy is better suited for rock carving than web design.…
…requirements before I start to design the software." "First of all, what are you trying to accomplish?" "I'm trying to make you design my software." "I mean what are you trying to accomplish with the software?" "I won't know what I can accomplish until you tell me what the software can do." "Try to get this…
"Our enterprise software comes in two flavors." "The premium package boasts a friendly user-interface." "The economy option does the same stuff but the interface is designed to ruin your life." "We'll take the cheap one." "I can tell by the way you hold the mouse that you've never had a girlfriend."…
…says, "My new design will meet all of our customers' current and future needs." The Boss is sitting with two board members, one male and one female. The male board member says, "That's no good; they'll never need to upgrade." Dilbert responds, "Please don't ask me to put flaws in my design." The Boss says…
