"Our new philosophy is 'a bias for action'." "Are we eliminating our Six-Sigma program, the budget cycle, ISO certification, and our approval processes?" "Can I get back to you on that?" "Sure. No rush."
"Carol, schedule a staff meeting." "What's the topic?" "I plan to fuse SixSigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives." "I'll just say 'Waste of time'."
…has decided to try something new." SixSigma "New? SixSigma was developed in the 80s." "It's new to us." "Why don't we jump on a fad that hasn't already been widely discredited?" "That way the false hope might sustain us." "There's nothing wrong with SixSigma. All it does is reduce defects!" "Let's…
"You're the only one who hasn't finished the mandatory online sixsigma training." "I finished it, but the system crashed before it stored my data." "This is when you say, 'There's no need to retake the training. I'll just check off your name.'" "Are you new on this planet?"
Headline: SixSigma Consultant. Dogbert says to the meeting, "The first step is to identify your problems." The Boss responds, "We don't have any problems. What's the second step?" Alice pins one hand down with the other and clenches her teeth. She thinks to herself, "Must..control...fist." The Boss…
Headline: SixSigma Consultant. Dogbert is standing in front of a room. He says, "All of you are selfish and dimwitted but don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I'll teach you a process that will bog you down in meetings so you can't hurt anything." Asok panics and exclaims, "I can't move my arms!" The rest…
