…pounds. I gave birth in the cap of a stolen backhoe." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I once passed a gallstone so big that it became secretary of labor in the Clinton administration." Carol says, "I find that hard to believe." Topper says, "Give me ten minutes and then check Wikipedia."
…Asok The Intern says, "Gaaa!!!" Asok The Intern says, "Must...Use...Banned telekinetic powers to neutralize threat." Man says, "Grrrr!!!" Carol The Secretary says, "You have a call from the Indian Institute of technology. It's someone from the department of things you shouldn't do."
…"It's better to have the right person ask the wrong question than the wrong person ask the right questions." "Do you have a minute?" "Talk to my secretary."
…go with the one that makes me miserable and doesn't work, or the one that might kill me?" "If you do both, I won't ask for anything on National Secretary's Day."
…heard that the guy you voted for just confessed to having an affair with a squirrel." "Shut up. The guy you voted for is being sued for choking his secretary." "In some countries they don't get a choice of who to vote for." "I feel sorry for them."
"Steve, ask everyone in the department to sign this birthday card for my secretary." "I've led men in combat and this is the sort of assignment you give me???" "Also, run down to the convenience store and buy her something fluffy or orange."