Secretary

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…pounds. I gave birth in the cap of a stolen backhoe." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I once passed a gallstone so big that it became secretary of labor in the Clinton administration." Carol says, "I find that hard to believe." Topper says, "Give me ten minutes and then check Wikipedia."

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…"It's better to have the right person ask the wrong question than the wrong person ask the right questions." "Do you have a minute?" "Talk to my secretary."

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…heard that the guy you voted for just confessed to having an affair with a squirrel." "Shut up. The guy you voted for is being sued for choking his secretary." "In some countries they don't get a choice of who to vote for." "I feel sorry for them."