Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."
Dilbert the scapegoat The Boss says, "I need you for a meeting with my boss." The Boss says, "About five minutes, into the meeting I'm going to start punching you. With any luck, my boss will join in." Dilbert says, "Maybe that shouldn't be called luck." The Boss says, "Okay...Skill. Whatever."
The Boss says, "I'm promoting you from legacy systems troll to scapegoat." The Boss says, "Your job is to dress in a goat costume and take the blame for all of our projects failing." A man says, "We missed another deadline. All in favor of slapping the goat..."
"My company wants me to design a private moon shuttle in three months. Doom is inevitable." "What you need is a scapegoat to blame for the project never getting finished. I'll send one over." "I was almost done, and then this idiot comes along."
The boss says to Asok, "Asok, I've chosen you to put our budget forecast together." The boss says, "It's a hard job but you'll get the satisfaction of making everyone hate your tiny guts." Asok walks away and thinks, "My guts are not tiny."
The boss says, to the scapegoat, "I'm transferring you to the sales department, scapegoat." The boss says, "Then we can make useless products and blame you for our low sales." The scapegoat says, "Wouldn't it be better to make good products?" The boss says, "In a perfect world."
