Ken says, "I hate sales. Can you cross-train me to be an engineer?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely. All you need is a time machine and a brain with twice as many folds as your current model." Ken says, "Maybe I could try marketing." Dilbert says, "That's just liquor and guessing."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. Ken says, "Every time I get near my sales bonus level, the pointy-haired boss raises the target!" Catbert says, "Ha ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! He just yanks it away! Ha ha ha!" Ken says, "I was hoping for some support." Catbert says,…
"The only way to meet our salestarget is by selling to customers who have bad credit." "That's okay, we'll get our bonuses before anyone realizes that the accounts receivables are worthless." "The key to getting bonuses is acting surprised later." "I feel unclean."
"Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."
"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its salestargets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the salestarget be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"
