The Boss says, "Does anyone know the rootcause of our project's failure?" Dilbert says, "I'm a determinist, so I'd have to say the problem goes back to the origin of the universe." The Boss says, "Why are you like this?" Dilbert says, "My cubicle destroyed my illusion of free will."
"What didn't you use any of my suggestions?" "My theory is that your brain is the size of a marble, and twice as smooth." "The rootcause probably involves slow learners mating for many generations."
…that 95% of the company believes we have no consistent strategy." The Boss continues, "So the executives formed a 'quality team' to determine the rootcause of the problem." A man points to a chart and says to three people seated at a table, "We've narrowed it down to either 'employees are ninnies' or…
"Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting." "Today we'll try to identify the rootcause of our slow design process." "Let me take some wild guesses here." "Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff." "We spend all our time giving status reports to unnecessary…
Dilbert points to a visual aid and says, "The fishbone diagram helps identify the rootcause of problems." Dilbert continues as three Elbonians listen, "In your case, the root problem seems to be that you're a nation of imbeciles . . ." An Elbonian says, "True, but YOU'RE the one who had to draw a dead…
