Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I've seen your resume and I sense desperation." Catbert says, "Our janitor recently passed away, so I have a job for you." A man says, "You want me to clean toilets?" Catbert says, "No, I want you to bury the janitor."
The Boss says, "Your resume is lame, but you're tall, so you must be competent." The Boss says, "You're hired. Let me show you around." The Boss says, "I'm what you call a good judge of people."
A man says, "Please introduce yourself by saying your name and who you work for." A woman says, "My name is Erin and I work for Sue Boysenberry." The man says, "Wow, lucky. I hear she's great." Another man says, "Can you give her my resume?" One Minute Later The second man says, "I'm so sorry for…
"I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several Nobel prizes, and two centuries of Unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented." "That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"
Catbert, the evil director of human resources, posts a job opening. Requirements: Candidate must have an I.Q. of 200, two centuries of Unix experience and a track record of winning Nobel prizes. "90% of my job is convincing people they don't deserve theirs."
"Alice, your resume is impressive." "Tell me why you want to be promoted to management." "Well. Obviously there's the money and prestige." "I'm also attracted by the prospect of doing much less work." "The opportunity to abuse subordinates is a big plus." "And I speak fluent Managerese. Watch this.…
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