CEO says, "Have you met the new head regulator for our industry?" CEO says, "At first it was inconvenient to feed him." CEO says, "Luckily I started lactating." Man says, "Have you tried kibble?"
"I'll be managing the Elbonian branch office but I'll be based in my own country." "I'll never see you in person but I want you all to work long hours and wear Dockers." "What is he doing?" "Sometimes we use mud to muffle laughter."
Catbert, evil director of human resources "Our new policy is no drinking coffee during work." "That should remove all doubt that our policies are designed for any reason other than evil." "Your honesty is refreshing." "Stop ruining the moment!!!"
"You're not allowed to have internal phone lists on your wall." "There are excellent reasons for this policy, and I hope to someday know what they are." "They're getting suspicious about the random policy generator." spoit!
"In order to boost productivity, the company has decided that employees can not use e-mail on Fridays." "What if my highest priorities require e-mail? Should I waste my day doing worthless stuff?" "Geez, somehow you made a great idea seem ridiculous." "Yeah, that's all me."
"Company policy says that space heaters are not allowed in cubicles." "My heater doesn't heat space. It heats the air in my cubicle. That's okay, right?" "Why would anyone heat 'space'?" "It keeps Uranus warm."
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