Dilbert says, "Hi, my name is?" Woman says, "Don't bother." Woman says, "My app does facial recognition and searches all social media to give me your full biography." Dilbert says, "How's that working out?" Woman says, "You're either Bart Simpson or a huge dry-erase marker."
"The best choice for employee of the month is..." "Congratulations to Alice for being our employee of the month!" "You get to use my parking spot near the entrance for the rest of the month." "I take public transit to work." "You also get to take the rest of today off." "It's already five o'clock,…
"Congratulations on 20 years of service. Here's a pen with the company's logo." "I have one just like it. At least I think this one is mine. I might have gotten them mixed up." "Which one looks like it spent the least time in my ear?"
"I'm debating on the Internet!" "Ha ha! I'm winning every argument by saying the same thing!" "What's that?" "'How would you like it if Hitler killed you?'" "Hey, I debated you last night!"
"This t-shirt goes to Ted for his work on the alpha project." "Your work was terrible. You're fired." IDIOT "It was frightening." "Were you scared shirtless?"
"Your lawyer threatened to sue if I fire you for gross incompetence. So I decided to let you stay." "And we've moved to an alphabetical system for awarding 'Employee of the Month'. This is your month." "Stupid alphabet."
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