The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to raise your morale by making you glad you're not him." Ratbert says, "No one loves me. My life is pointless. I eat old soap." The Boss says, "Now let the magic begin." Dilbert says, "I feel good about not eating old soap." Ratbert says, "Cha!"
Ratbert the software consultant "Don't let your lack of knowledge interfere with my brilliance." "Don't touch the keyboard, don't offer opinions and don't breathe so loudly that I can hear it." "There. I've either configured your software or erased something called a BIOS."
"Our vendor sent us a consultant to help configure the software." "We can tell how important we are by looking at the consultant they assigned to us." "The word that comes to mind is doohickey."
"I'm always wrong about everything. What can I do to fix that?" "I recommend shopping. The customer is always right." "Shopping makes me smart?!!" "You aren't shopping yet."
…sedate an unwilling donor." A businessman sits on a bed with a martini in one hand. There is tube stretching from his pocket to The Boss' wallet, Ratbert is manning the machine. The businessman says, "Whoever thought of happy hour at a hoshpital ish a geniush."
…Dogbert continues, "Your ad only says your name once, at the end of a boring commercial when viewers have drifted off." Dogbert holds up a drawing of Ratbert in a hole and says, "I recommend throwing your ad money into a special kind of hole." The Boss responds, "When can we start?"
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