Wally says, "I'm exhausted from all of the basic research I'm doing." Wally says, "It's too bad that the value of my work won't be quantifiable for another ten years." The Boss says, "I'd like to see your lab report." Wally says, "So… the new rule is that we write down stuff?"
The Boss says, "Maybe someone can help you quantify the value of your research and development work." Dilbert says, "The only people who can quantify the value of research are liars and morons." The Boss says, "Maybe we could hire a consultant." Dilbert says, "That just turns a liar into a thief."
Dogbert the quantifier "How can I quantify the benefits of my department?" "Try making absurd claims of value while hoping that no one asks questions." "Does that work?" "I hope so. Here's my invoice."
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