Dilbert says, "The status of my project is that apparently I died and became a ghost." Dilbert says, "I don?t remember dying, but the evidence of my untimely demise is clear." Dilbert says, "In the past week, no one has returned my phone calls or replied to my emails." Dilbert says, "When I try to print…
The Boss says, "The people buying our company don't know that your project exists." The Boss says, "And you're not allowed to talk to anyone over there. But don't lose hope." The Boss says, "I'm working hard to upgrade your status from nonexistent to unimportant."
Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I…
The boss says, "Wally, you didn't e-mail me your projectstatus." Wally says, "Did you check your spam folder?" Wally says, "Maybe you should check there before you besmirch my good name with your baseless accusations." The Boss says, "Did you send it?" Wally says, "Okay, I see how you're trying to…
"When will I get your projectstatus report?" "You're asking for a status report on the status of the status report?" "Right. When can I get that?" "It's starting to look like infinity."
CEO Meeting "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline…
