Alice says, "Guess what, Ted? I volunteered to run a critical project while knowing I don't have enough resources." Alice says, "When it becomes a crisis, I will declare martial law and order you to become my flunky." Alice says, "In your face, puppet boy!" Ted says, "This day is turning out to be a…
the Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with Ted on this project." Alice says, "Ted's a drama queen. Working with him will just slow me down." Ted says, "Hello? Human resources? Alice is being a bully." Alice says, "And so it begins."
Dilbert says, "I need more resources on my project." The Boss says, "I'll give you someone from Alice's project." Dilbert says, "Then Alice won't have enough resources." The boss says, "I can only solve one problem at a time." Alice says, "Did he solve your problem?" Dilbert says, "I'm going to say…
Dilbert says, "I'll never be able to finish my project on time." The Boss says, "You need to take ownership." Dilbert says, "Can I hire more programmers?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Can I reduce the number of features?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "So...I'm just taking ownership of the…
…fuel rumors that get repeated until they morph into common knowledge." Dilbert says, "Resources will be allocated based on misinformation and favoritism." Dilbert says, "And requirements will drift until the project is both undesirable and impossible." Dilbert says, "That brings us to the second week…
Catbert: Evil director of human resources "Your boss says you have a bad attitude." "That's because my project is a flailing corpse of misery, and my boss donated his brain to a gum museum." If I had a good attitude in this situation, it would be a sign of a mental imbalance." "My bad attitude is proof…
