Ellen says, "I need a budget estimate for my project, but I don't have a scope or a design for it yet." Dilbert says, "Okay, my estimate is $3,583,729." Ellen says, "You don't know anything about my project." Dilbert says, "That makes two of us."
…Wally says, "I have no stress, free coffee, and I get paid, too." Wally says, "Watch how this works." Ted says, "Wally, can you give me some cost estimates for my project?" Wally says, "I'm too busy. Ask Dilbert." Asok says, "Doesn't this make you a worthless leech on society?" Wally says, "I'm pretty…
Boss says "Wally, do you have the capital cost estimates I asked for last week?" Wally says "No, I always ask you to clarify what you need. You say you'll get back to me but you never do." Boss says "Maybe I could clarify it now." Wally says "That would ruin my system."
"I need a cost estimate on your project." "I have no idea I haven't even gathered the user requirements." "Don't worry I won't hold you to the estimate." "Yes you will. You will put it in the plan, forget we had this conversation, and fire me when I go over budget." "Give me a number or I'll fire you…
…technology, I want you to inventory our furniture." "When do you think you'll be done?" "When will you forget you asked me, and assign the furniture project to someone else?" "Two weeks." "I'll be done in 15 days."
"I'll ask the vendor for ballpark prices to see if the idea is feasible." "You can't talk with vendors until our change control board approves the project." "But that would require a cost-benefit analysis." "And I can't do that without ballpark prices from the vendor." "Just take your best guess." "So…
