The Boss says, "Bob is the director of purchasing. He's here to describe our new procurement process." Bob says, "Our system divides products into two categories: Things you don't want, and things you're not allowed to buy." Bob says, "It's my way of saying thanks for lubing my SUV with my dead ancestors…
Dilbert says, "It takes you two months to process my company credit card expense reimbursement." Dilbert says, "So I get in trouble every month for incurring late fees." Dilbert says, "Why must I be punished for your incompetence?" Troll says, "Apparently I'm awesome."
The Boss says, "We're going to use CMMI. It's a model for developing a process to create a framework." The Boss says, "Or it might be a process for creating a framework to make a model." The Boss says, "There's no budget for training, so we'll be relying on guessing more than usual."
…process." The Boss says ,"As you know, a good process is a substitute for good employees." The Boss says, "The ultimate goal is to simplify our processes so much..." The Boss says, "That we can train chickens to do your jobs in return for pellets." The Boss says, "We'll begin by discussing our process…
Dogbert says, "You survived the rigorous interview process, but there are no openings in engineering." Dogbert says, "However, I am prepared to offer you a position in sales." Dilbert says, "You mean a job?" Dogbert says, "No, just a position." Dilbert says, "This took and ugly turn."
