"The ex-photographer I hired isn't doing well in captivity." "Is he dying?" "Not yet. It's more of a panda situation." "Would you like to mate?" "I couldn't be less interested."
"I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom." "Fill out your time report in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing." "Attempted self-strangulation is Code 39. If you succeed, it's 40." "RRRRR!!!"
"The new guy used to be a free-ranger. Let's go watch him get broken." "I'm there." "They say he was a photographer. Never been cubicled." "He'll be tough." "I'll lasso him with the necktie and you put the employee manual on his back."
"Catbert: evil director of human resources" "Excellent idea." "Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace." "Why?" "We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information." "Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere." "The rest is on paper that can be…
…approaches, hands Dilbert a photograph, and says, "This stockholder is suing us to stop the merger. Go rough her up." Dilbert looks at the photograph and responds, "This assignment disturbs me on many levels." The Boss says, "Name one." Dilbert looks down at the photograph of his mom and says, "It will…
Alice says to the Boss: "I've been asked to quantify the benefits of our knowledge management systems." She points to a photograph of an intern: "I measured our intern's head to see if it got bigger." She explains: "The higher drag coefficient means we lost a little in the sandwich-fetching department…
