Performance Evaluation

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June 22, 2003

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Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Alice is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs…
Related Searches: Performance Review | Evaluation | Alice

April 16, 2003

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…excellent all year." The Boss continues, "I'm rating you 'poor' so I'll have a paper trail in case I ever need to fire you." Asok sobs and crumples his evaluation. The Boss says, "You'll probably feel a little surge of motivation because you got feedback."
Related Searches: Feedback | Performance Review | Paper Trail

January 06, 2003

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"I need your self-evaluation so I can write your performance review." "Remember to rate yourself on our core values of honesty and integrity." "Wally claims he did no work this year. But he's dishonest, so you can't be sure."

November 09, 2002

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Catbert is sitting on The Boss' desk. He says to The Boss, "Don't give performance reviews on time." Catbert continues, "Wait until an employee screws up something big, then pounce!" A frazzled employee with torn clothes and smoking hair says to The Boss, "...I forgot to unplug the demo unit and it burned…
Related Searches: Performance Review | Customer | Evaluation

October 06, 2002

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Wally is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "Wally, it's time for your annual performance review." As they're walking to the conference room, The Boss says to Wally, "None of my usual words fit your situation." They enter the conference room and take seats. The Boss continues, "So…
Related Searches: Performance Review | Evaluation | Taking So Long

April 30, 2002

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The Boss says to Alice, "Alice, write a performance evaluation of yourself for me to sign." Alice replies, "What will our seven layers of management be doing while I manage myself?? Alice continues, "Sorry. I'll ding myself for that on my evaluation." The Boss says, "If you can't find me, have Carol…
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