The Boss says, "Studies show that a rat with a dartboard can manage your pension fund as well as experts." Ratbert says, "I invested your entire pension fund in Garfield posters." Ratbert says, "I'm bad at darts."
Dogbert says, "I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year." Pension Fund 15% Dogbert says, "Technically you aren't crooks, just optimists." Tweet! Mmph! Tweet! Dogbert says, "If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose."
…unproductive." "They're always exercising or eating fruit when they should be working." "We prefer employees who work hard and die before their pensions start paying out." "Suddenly I feel sick." "Right on schedule!"
"I called this meeting to discuss the changes to the pension plan." "We already saw the company-wide e-mail about the changes." "And we're all engineers, so we understand the details better than you do." "I'll bet you intend to waste our time by reading the e-mail to us." "You can't stop yourself. it's…
"Management is pleased to announce that it has a plan to make your pension fun solvent." "In unrelated news, the guidelines for workplace safety have been relaxed." "Our CEO reminds you that smoking is cool."