Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I…
…life, is big money." Dilbert says, "Obviously my best strategy here is to offer resistance that's just short of insubordination." Dilbert says, "So move on, little man! Scat! Go!" Dilbert says, "Too much?"
The boss says, "We're moving our data center to Elbonia to save money." Dilbert says, "That seems a bit dangerous since every Elbonian is an identity thief." The Boss says, "What?" It seemed like an exaggeration, but it wasn't. Elbonian says ,"Hi, I'm old man Podemkin." Elbonian says, "I was him this…
The Boss says, "Ted, you can keep your job but your office is being moved 50 miles away." Ted says, "Gosh, I guess I could drive another 50 miles each way." The Boss says, "How about a hundred?"
Alice says, "Loud Howard insists on using his speak-phone in his cubicle. You have to do something about it." The Boss says, "I'll move him to a private office that just became available. Problem solved." Alice says, "I need to punch you until we both forget what happened here." Asok says, "Gaaa!!!…
…ring, or you'll be late for a meeting, or the carpet will catch on fire before I ask the question." "It's a short question, so get ready to make your move."
