The Boss says, "We start shipping in two weeks." Dilbert says, "That's not enough time to fix the known bugs." The Boss says, "When you say, 'bugs,' that's sort of a gray area." Dilbert says, "Um... I don't think it is." The Boss says, "For example, a user might need several steps to do something…
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're going into the internet news business." Dilbert says, "We're hiring reporters?" Dogbert says, "No, we'll summarize stories from other sites and provide links." Dilbert says, "So...we'll be parasites?" Dogbert says, "Go buy a vinyl record, Grandpa."
"We need to find a way to close the gap between our strategy and our capabilities." "Why don't we just pretend we're good at something and call it our strategy." "Sorry...Didn't mean to jump ahead."
"The Weekly Wally Report is bristling with tales of success." "I gave worthless input to marketing because they weren't specific about what they wanted." "I missed Alice's project meeting because she never confirmed the location." "I gave harmful advice to the sales team because they rushed me." "I ignored…
….." "...It frees your mind to invent splendidly profitable products." "It's called the ultra-donut: forty thousand calories and filled with sharp objects."
"I'm cruising into my fifth month with no written objectives." "Some philosophers would say that having no objectives means I'm free to help any team that asks." "My personal philosophy is more along the lines of hiding."
Related Searches: Objectives | Records
Related Searches: Consultant | Donut
Related Searches: Team | Objectives
