Dilbert says, "My invention can scan a person's brain and predict his buying decisions." Dilbert says, "It says you plan to buy... a blunt object so you can kill me and claim credit for my invention." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, which is why I included a feature to microwave the offending part…
"You have a pattern of raising no objections to plans and later acting as if you opposed them from the start." "I hope to thwart you by asking you to sign off on this plan in writing." "Ooh, if only you had asked me before my hands got stuck in these coffee mugs."
"Carol, schedule a staff meeting." "What's the topic?" "I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives." "I'll just say 'Waste of time'."
"I'm going to work for the cable company." "Why?" "I enjoy giving people abusive service windows." "Oh" "Well, if you can't be home from March to October, then say goodbye to Regis and Kelly!"
…desperate than usual." "Excellent." "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin…
…Wally hands the Boss a piece of paper and says, "My project is right on plan." Wally continues, "It began last week as a bad idea from somebody in senior management." Wally continues, "Thanks to my leadership, it is already an object of widespread mockery and derision." Wally continues, "As I speak, our…
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