…economy improves, we are instituting a mandatory week off every quarter." The boss says, "At least you'll have more time with your families." Ted says, Nooo!!! Notmyfamily!!!" The boss says, "Problems at home?" Ted says, "May I please work without pay?"
…Matt. It's my first day here." "I'm Dilbert." "And this is..." "I'd rather not say." "I prefer to remain anonymous, so you won't feel comfortable asking me for anything later on." "Here's my card. It's blank." "The phrase that you're least likely to hear today is, 'We're just like family.'" "Are you…
…products stink?" Alice responds, "I promise on the honor of myfamily, and on all that is holy, that I did not." Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches from behind with a device in his hands. He says, "So I guess you're calling my divining rod a liar."
Dilbert, Alice, and Wally are eating lunch. Wally says, "For thousands of generations the males in myfamily practiced selective breeding." Wally continues, "The goal was to produce offspring that leave no biometric impression: no pulse, no fingerprints, no DNA." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Wally responds,…
…hear what I'm doing at work?" Dilbert's mom is holding a plant. She replies, "Not so much." Dilbert says, "You're supposed to act interested because you're my mother." His mom replies, "Well..." Her voice continues, "I'm not saying you're boring, it's just that everything you talk about is boring." Dilbert…
A man is standing in front of the boss. The man says, "You're working me too hard! I want to get home in time to kiss my daughter goodnight!" The man continues, "And I'm not the only one who feels this way." The boss says, "I've seen your daughter and I'm fairly certain you're the only one."
