The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to train the new mailroom guy." Wally says, "Why me?" The Boss says, "Because he's unimportant and you're worthless." Wally says, "Okay, I was worried that it was the other way around." Wally says, "All important messages are sent by e-mail." Wally says, "So your job…
The MBA guy Man says, "I put together a spreadsheet that might interest you." The boss says, "Ow! Ow! It's so boring, it hurts my head!" The boss says, "My brain is trying to escape through my ear!" Man says, "I get this a lot."
…soft economy." Salesman says, "now we kill our customers and replace them with body doubles who place big orders." Customer says, "Who's the handsome new sales guy?" Salesman says, "He's you in about ten minutes."
Man says, "You must be Dilbert. I'm the newguy on your project team." Dilbert says, "What's that foul stench?" Man says, "It's the stink of failure. It follows me around from project to project." Dilbert says, "How do I get if off?!!" Man says, "You can dilute it by shaking hands."
"don't get too friendly with the newguy. His armpits are 66 inches off the ground." "He seems nice. I fail to see how the height of his armpits is relevant." "You'll see." "Hey, little buddy. Let me tell you about my weekend."
"The newguy is a huge weasel. Don't believe anything he says." "You say that about all the new hires so they won't seem credible when they complain about you." "I'll stop doing it when it stops working."
