…Oblivion Man says, "Option two is a death spiral." Man says, "Our new company logo is a man getting sucked into a toilet." Man says, "Our revised missionstatement is 'Forage during daylight. Hide at night.'" Man says, "I'll pass out clubs, and you can decide among yourselves how to downsize by fifty percent…
"Is your plan consistent with our corporate strategy?" "How would I know?" "Don't you know our strategy?" "No. Do you?" "Of course I do. It's something about leveraging our platforms." "Does your plan leverage our platforms?" "No, but I can rewrite my plan so it seems as if it does." "Good. Go back…
"Carol, schedule a staff meeting." "What's the topic?" "I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives." "I'll just say 'Waste of time'."
Bias for Action Passion for Results "And these are our company values." "Please don't ask any questions." "Question!" "Do the results have to be good ones?" "Um...yes." "I'm not so sure. I think it would say that." "Since action and results are both important, is it okay to have bad results so long…
…replies, "I've been giving you that same status report every week for eleven years." Wally continues, "Five years ago you adopted it as our missionstatement."
A disheveled coworker with smoke effusing from his head says to Dilbert and Wally, "Sorry I'm late." The coworker continues, "I left my missionstatement paperweight in the sun and it set my cubicle on fire." The coworker continues, "I tried to douse it using my "We are Quality" mug but the handle broke…
