The Boss says, "Wally, have you made any progress coding your module?" Wally says, "Progress is difficult to measure in the software realm." Wally says, "You could measure the lines of code I produce, but that would reward inefficiency." Wally says, "The art of this job is binding the rare moments of…
…says, "I hope that means something. All I did was string together some words I heard in the hallway." Dilbert says, "Um... I'll be assessing... by measuring... and um..." The Boss says, "I better get in on this." The Boss says, "I can't support this project until I see your advanced assessment methodology…
Dilbert says, "There's no objective standard for measuring how much I should accomplish in any given day." Dilbert says, "Nor can we really know if things would have turned out better had I don't things differently." The Boss says, "Do you have a point?" Dilbert says, "I'm going home early. See if you…
Dilbert says, "My insolence safety zone has expanded." The boss says, "Your what?" Dilbert says, "It's a measure of how rude I can be without fear of consequences." Dilbert says, "You have no budget to give me a raise, so I have no potential gain from acting professionally." Dilbert says, "And it would…
…the item being cut, metaphorically speaking, is often plentiful and inexpensive." "In many cases, the cost of measuring incorrectly is low compared to the time wasted doing two measurements before every action." "You philosophy is better suited for rock carving than web design." "Do you have any wise…
…" "I can fix my looks by getting an extreme makeover." "You'll still need to improve your M.T.T.S.F." "What?" "Mean time to story failure: It's a measure of how long you can be fascinating to a new person." "I've been counting, and you only have nine good stories. After you use them up, you're a social…
