Management Consultant

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February 17, 2010

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The New Ombudsman Asok says, "How can you be impartial in my dispute with management when they are the ones paying you?" Helen Fry says, "Perhaps you have something of value that would allow me to see your side." Wally says, "He's creepy without his soul, but I envy his carefree attitude."
Related Searches: Helen Fry | Management | Ombudsman

February 15, 2010

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…for a week. But I was evicted from the afterlife and had to come back." The Boss says, "The afterlife has a lot to teach us about management. I brought home a consultant." Dilbert says, "I might be late with my status report." The Boss says, "Do you know what locusts taste like?"
Related Searches: Status Report | Devil | Consultant

October 21, 2009

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Dogbert the CEO Man says, "Consumer confidence is up, and that means more people will buy our products." Dogbert says, "I'm off to make random management changes so I can take credit for the improved economy." Dilbert says, "It's working?" The Boss says, "Sales are up!"
Related Searches: Change Management | Ceo | Dogbert Ceo

November 19, 2007

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Dogbert Consults "Do you want me to lie to you for $400 per hour or give you the truth for $200?" "I'll take the truth." "Okay, the problem is that having you try to manage engineers is like having an earthworm try to juggle." "How's my premium pricing option sound to you now?"
Related Searches: Consultant | Dogbert Consults | Pricing

July 08, 2007

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"You should hire me as your management consultant." "We're a management consulting firm. We don't need a management consultant to consult us." "Are you saying that management consulting is worthless?" "No, I'm saying we already know everything about management consulting." "How can you be so sure I can't…
Related Searches: Consultant | Dogbert Consults

November 11, 2005

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"I found a way to double my management consulting fees." "I recommend outsourcing your job to India." "I'll double your fee if you never say that again." WAG!
Related Searches: Dogbert Consults | India | Outsource

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