The Boss says, "Can you get me some failure estimates for our next gen product?" Dilbert says, "I can if you like numbers that are based on hallucinated assumptions." The Boss says, "I kind of do." Dilbert says, "I think we have an understanding."
Dilbert says, "I didn't have any accurate numbers so I just made up this one." Dilbert says, "Studies have shown that accurate numbers aren't any more useful than the ones we makeup." The Boss says, "How many studies showed that?" Dilbert says, "Eighty-seven."
…your best guess." "So...I should makeup a number so I can get approval to make a phone call and ask what the number should have been?" "Right. But first you need to get my approval to do the cost-benefit analysis." "Will you approve it?" "I'd have to see the numbers."
"We might need to restate our earnings." "It turns out that we're not allowed to makeupnumbers." "Did you know that 'frillion' isn't an actual number?"
…show these numbers to our VP. They make us look like losers." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Find something we're doing well and give him those numbers instead." Dilbert, wearing dark glasses and a false moustache, looks on as the VP reads the report and says, "Wow! Our internal subterfuge is up eighty percent…
…look at the forms. Wally says, "These are resignation forms." The Boss holds up the paper and says, "If you cover the word 'resignation' with your thumb, it's an injury report." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "This place makes me sick." Dilbert says, "We'll miss you."
