Dilbert says, "I invented a drug that makes people do stupid things. Then I dipped this dart in it." Dilbert says, "I don't know why I did it. There's no legitimate use for this sort of thing." Dilbert says, "Ow." Dogbert says, "I'll need a gallon for the weekend. And remember to breathe the fumes…
Ken says, "I hate sales. Can you cross-train me to be an engineer?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely. All you need is a time machine and a brain with twice as many folds as your current model." Ken says, "Maybe I could try marketing." Dilbert says, "That's just liquor and guessing."
…explodes and hurls poisonous spines in every direction." The Boss says, "Where's the director of quality assurance?" Lawyer says, "Pinned to the test lab ceiling."
Man says, "I invented a music device that reads your brain waves and only plays songs that fit your mood." The Boss says, "Kung Fu coffee cup!" BONK! The Boss says, "Hey, look what I invented!"
Dogbert the empire builder consultant. Dogbert says, "Success is just attendance plus luck." Dogbert says, "You always want to be in the general vicinity when something good happens." Dilbert says, "Wow. I just doubled the bit rate." Boss says, "Present!"
Dilbert says, "My invention can scan a person's brain and predict his buying decisions." Dilbert says, "It says you plan to buy... a blunt object so you can kill me and claim credit for my invention." Dilbert says, "I anticipated that, which is why I included a feature to microwave the offending…
