The Boss says, "I wouldn't worry about losing your job after the merger." Dilbert says, "Because you put in a good word for me?" The Boss says, "No, it's more of an observation that I don't worry about other people's jobs."
Henry says, "Try rebooting." Dilbert says, "Who are you?" Henry says, "I'm Henry the security guard. I'm trying to evolve into a new career." Henry says, "I'm ignoring my real job while loudly giving technical advice to coworkers." Henry says, "Eventually, people will start to see me as a valuable technical…
…"Um...why are you applying for a job here?" "I'm getting tendonitis in my pistol-whipping arm." "I thought I'd try the slower paced life of white collar crime." "Security." "How much can I expect to embezzle in my first year?" "Earl?" "Lefty!" "Forget this job. Security is where the big money is." "Can…
"I keep paying you for consulting, but you never make any recommendations." "I'm what you call a "feel good."" "My job is to make you feel secure in the knowledge that someone brilliant is shaping your strategies." "This is weird; I hate you, but at the same time I feel good." "You're welcome."
"I discovered a hole in our internet security." "What?!!" "Good grief, man! How could you put a hole in our internet?" "I didn't PUT it there. I FOUND it... and it's not.." "It's your job to fix that hole. I want you to work 24-7!" "Actually, that's NOT my job. But I'll inform our network management…
…"Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and jobsecurity if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies,…
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