The Boss says, "Jim, our company is family-friendly and very green." The Boss says, "We're also good at setting priorities, so if I get a chance to sell your kids for a handful of carbon credits, I'll do it." The Boss says, "He was less green than I had hoped."
The Boss says, "Interview this applicant and tell me if he's right for our company." Wally says, "Tim, we don't set the bar as high as we used to." Wally says, "In our golden days, we insisted on employees who could work tirelessly through the night." Wally says, "As business slowed, we were happy with…
The Boss says, "The opening is in sales. Do you like to travel." Man says, "Yes. It's my favorite thing." The Boss says, "No one likes business travel. You're either an idiot or you've never done business travel." Man says, "How dare you accuse me of not traveling."
…you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."
Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word…
Jobinterview Dogbert says, "Do you have any sales experience?" Man says, "No, but I..." Dogbert says, "Okay, whatever." Dogbert says, "There's no base pay. You only get paid open commission." Dogbert says, "And you'll need a special laptop for this job." Dogbert says, "you can buy it from our company…
