Dogbert says, "You're an incompetent CEO, but the Dogbert Investment Bank can help you pretend to unlock shareholder value." Dogbert says, "I'll arrange an unwise merger so you can cash out while I collect an obscene commission." Dogbert says, "It's like a bribe, but instead of going to jail, a…
Dogbert says, "Your stock fell a penny a share so I bough 51% of the company." Dogbert says, "I'll double my investment just by firing you." Dogbert says, "Thanks for not being totally worthless." Man says, "You're welcome."
Dogbert the financial planner "With advances in health care, you could live to be 200." "If you have a good financial plan, only the last 120 years will be spent in squalor." "I recommend a diversified portfolio. And bacon."
"I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job." "The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." "Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough
