Dogbert, the VP of marketing "It's my job to spray-paint the roadkill." "I'll use a process the experts call 'dishonesty'." "My motto is 'if it isn't immoral, it probably won't work'."
…rare blood type that you need to donate?" "No. Actually, I was planning on sitting in the waiting room to give him moral support." "So your kid is immoral and sick? He sounds like a real winner." "What I mean is that I plan to have a cold on Tuesday." "Well, I can see where your kid gets it from."
"Is it immoral for my company to sell forty-thousand calorie, shard-filled doughnuts?" "You're not forcing anyone to eat them; you're just making them irresistibly delicious." "How's that different?" "Bah!"
Doctor Dogbert Show "Your problem is that you're a lazy, selfish, immoral moron." "Shouldn't you listen to my story before passing judgment?" "I'm adding 'time waster' to the list." "You're like a miracle worker."
"I plan to start my own television talk show." "I'll change my name to 'Doctor Dogbert' so people think I'm qualified to call them lazy, immoral fat morons." "You already call people those names." "Yeah, but I want them to thank me for it."
…fire an engineer to reduce expenses." Dilbert says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You should fire the incompetent sales people!" Dilbert continues, "It's immoral to punish innocent engineers for the sins of sales people! I will fight this all the way!" The boss says, "I'm firing Ted. Not you." Dilbert says,…
